Heather and Steve ~ August 31, 2003

Steve wasn't feeling too well last night, so he did us both a favor and slept in the guest room last night after failing to fall asleep in our room. He woke up this morning looking like hell, but was determined to go to work because he had to get some stuff done. He could barely walk to the couch, so he had me call his work for him and tell them he was sick.

Not wanting to get sick, Owen and I went to our moms group meetup, where I happened to run into luvbeingamommy. We all watched a little kids show, and I had lunch with my group. I asked the girl I meantioned last night if she would be interested in painting some pictures for me, and she said yes! I'm totally excited. She said that she paid about $50 to make 2 of hers on a really nice canvas, so I figured I'd pay about that much for each on a less expensive canvas. I'll have to iron out the details, but I'm so happy that she's going to do those for me.

( Pictures )

First, allow me to vent for 2 seconds. Steve is such a whiny bitch sometimes, it drives me nuts! He was supposed to start work at 7:30 this morning, but because he went to bed too late, and had a hockey game last night, he emailed his work (at like 7:15!) to tell them that he was going in at 11. Fine, whatever. He tells me this and crawls back into bed.

Owen started stirring in his crib, and while he was fussing a little, he wasn't crying or anything. In fact, I slept through most of it, so I doubt he was making that much noise. Steve started bitching about how I've let him whine for like 40 minutes, so I get up and get Owen to feed him. I sit back down on the bed, and then Steve starts whining about how he's trying to sleep and Owen is making too much noise. Your ass should be at work right now, don't bitch at me!!! Jerk.

Anyway, so onto the need for expertise. I'm going to be cutting my hair. SHORT. I need some serious ideas that won't make me look like 1 - a lesbian (I have nothing against lesbians, I just don't want to look like one), 2 - a boy (I have nothing against boys...;)). It also needs to be easy to maintain. Bobs, pixie cuts, whatever. Pictures would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

Since the beginning of time, I've known that I'm going to have an epidural when I give birth. I have never apologized for that, and I don't plan to. And along with that, I've never let anyone make me feel bad about my decision.

Until now.

Last night, at our breastfeeding class, we watched a video on how newborn babies from unmedicated births were able to crawl up to the breast from the mom's stomach and latch on to start nursing. It then went on to say that babies from medicated births had trouble latching and would basically just try to sleep. I turned to Steve and told him that I was still getting an epidural, and I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't exactly on board with that plan.

On the way home, I mentioned that I got the feeling that he wasn't thrilled with the idea of me getting drugs, and he admitted that he didn't think I should get them. He tried throwing the statistics of recovering faster (because he knows that the recovery period is what I'm really worried about) and the baby having an easier time latching on at me, but I didn't care. Me being the pregnant hormonal person that I am, I got offended and upset that he didn't agree with me. I told him that I needed his support on this, and I wasn't going to allow him to make me feel like shit for doing it. He said that he would go along with it, but I know that in the back (or front, even) of his mind, he's not supporting my decision, and that really bothers me. I need him to put his personal feelings about it aside and be there for me! I realize that things may not go as planned and I may have to do it without drugs, but I'll deal with that when it happens.

I should also mention that he FREAKS OUT if he wakes up in the middle of the night and his arm or leg has fallen asleep. For some reason, it's just something that makes him panic, and he said that he would do anything to avoid the feeling of being numb from the waist down. I think that's part of the reason why he's so against it too, but that's why he's not getting one.